Out Of Their Hands
by Tashah2109
Summary: John and Helen have just become engaged, but it seems clear that she isn't happy, but what bought them to this point? Starts pre-source blood. Will they ever both get the future they dreamed of? Will become Teslen.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Helen Magnus looked down at the engagement ring she wore on her finger. It was quite beautiful. A simple diamond surrounded by half a dozen small emeralds. Each gem beautifully cut and perfectly formed. Here she was, a newly engaged woman with a beautiful ring. In every aspect she should have been filled with excitement, instead every time she looked at the piece of jewellery it made her sick to the stomach.

"Helen Magnus becoming a kept woman, now there's something I didn't expect to see." It was a man she barely knew that spoke. Looking towards him she wanted nothing more than to inform his of where he could place his wine glass, but she didn't. It wouldn't do to make a scene tonight.

"I must say Helen, I would never have expected you to be the first to marry. In fact marry at all. I was sure you favoured your independence too much." This time it was a scholar she had taken classes with. She looked upon his more favourably.

"Oh I do intend to keep most of my independence. I do rather hope that we are entering a time where it is seen acceptable for a woman to be both married and independent." She wrapped her fingers around the wine glass to her right and took a deep drink, knowing full well that she had started a debate that would be impossible to win. Of course it would not stop her from trying.

"I think what my darling fiancé means, is that while her independence will remain important. That she also understands what being a wife entails." He too took a deep drink of wine before looking towards her. "Isn't that right darling?" John Druitt looked towards the woman engaged to be his wife. The look he gave her could not be mistaken as anything but a warning.

Helen wanted nothing more than to argue with him, but even she knew better. She had tried that before, and had carried the bruises to prove it for well over a week afterwards. "Of course, I must have simply worded my feelings wrong." She flashed a fake smile around the room before smoothly turning the focus of the conversation away from their engagement, and back to the recent scientific experiments undertaken by the college. All the while trying to avoid the blazing eyes of her fiancé.

…

The repercussions of the nights conversations didn't begin until the were in the carriage, but the most certainly started with a bang. He close the door on her side with a sharp bang that echoed around the dark street. Helen took a deep breath as she waited for him to walk around, she wanted to be ready for the onslaught that was sure to come.

He didn't speak as he got into the carriage, but his door shut behind him with the same level of force as the first. He waited a moment as the carriage pulled away before turning towards her. "I simply don't understand Helen." His fist came down on the seat next to her hard. "Why you must insist on trying to humiliate me so." He looked towards her before slightly cocking his head. "Anyone would think that you were planning on going back on our arrangement.

Helen looked at him. There was so much she wanted to say to him, but much of it would never pass her lips for fear of the consequences. "I simply cannot stand them mocking me…" She broke off, there was no reason for her to be having this conversation with him. They both knew that he would either laugh it off, or tell her that she was simply being stupid. "I want to be treated as an equal." As soon as the words left her mouth she heard his laugh. It was a deep guttural noise that worked it's way up as it bounced from the walls around her.

"My dear Helen…that is the most comical thing I have heard this year." He lifted a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe his brow. "Where do you come up with these things?"

She sighed. "I wouldn't expect you to understand." She gasped as she felt the hand around her chin pulling her around to face him.

"Would you mind repeating that dearest?"

His breath was hot in her face as she tried to pull away. It was no use. He grip was tight and it was quite clear that she wouldn't be moving anywhere unless he chose to release her. "I wouldn't expect you to understand…" The statement was met with a blow to her stomach that winded her instantly.

"Driver, it appears that Miss Magnus has been taken ill. We shall need to call upon the doctor before arriving home." His voice was clear of the anger from before. As he finished he pulled her up to face him by the hair. "Oh I understand Helen…" He looked at her. "But I do worry, you see statements and thoughts like that can get you into all kinds of trouble…

Helen looked at him, all of this was wrong. She was marrying the wrong man. She had never, and would never love John Druitt. Quite simply her heart belonged to another, and how she wished more than anything that it was him there by her side, rather than John.

**3 Months Earlier…**

"Oh my…" The two words were all Helen had time to utter before she was gently pulled into the side room of the college. Before her eyes had time to focus on the man stood in front of her she felt the familiar lips crush against her own. She quickly relaxed into the kiss, it was several moments before she felt the comforting presence pull away. She felt herself pout slightly at the loss of contact. "You certainly know how to get a lady's attention…"

"My my Helen, there are some people in the college who would not ever imagine to here you describe yourself as a lady…" He winked at her before turning her around so he could gently kiss the join between her neck and shoulder.

Helen let out a gentle sigh. "With you I feel I can be the lady I truly am…" She gently turned back around in his arms so she stood facing him again. "There are no games, or silly remarks about my gender." She kissed him gently on the lips. "You Nikola Tesla, see me for who and what I am." She smiled at him again before placing another gentle kiss to his lips.

"And what pray tell may that be dear Helen?" Nikola loved the minutes they were able to snatch alone, she was right. She was able to be the person she truly was, but so was he, and that was something he would always treasure.

"Why, I am indeed Helen Magnus…and I am truly a lady." This time it was Helen's turn to pause. "And I suppose if I am truthful…then I am in love with you." She tilted her head up slightly to take in his eyes as she spoke the words. To her delight she watched them grow larger with delight.

"Helen Magnus…you truly are amazing." He kissed her again, but this time seemed determined not to let go in a hurry. When he did eventually pull back all he wanted was to be able to stare into those deep eyes. "You are truly beautiful…"

"You're not too bad yourself Mr Tesla." She ran her hands through his wayward hair. It was one of the many things that she loved about him. He could spend an age flattening his hair for it to be a state against with a minute.

"I can't imagine ever feeling like this darling…not with anyone else…" Nikola looked towards her. He lifted his hands gently to slip her hands around her waist and pulled her slightly closer.

"Well you don't have to worry about that do you." Helen cocked her head slightly as she looked at him. "What's bought all of this on?" He ran her hands up and down her side.

"I mean it darling. I can't ever imagine being with anyone else…not now…not for the rest of my life…I want it to be you." Nikola took hold of her hands. "I haven't got a ring…but I promise you Helen to love you for the rest of our lives." He didn't know where it had come from, or what had started it off. All he knew was that she was everything he had ever wanted.

Helen looked at him, she could feel the tears brimming in her eyes, but she didn't even bother trying to clear them. "Nikola I don't know what to say…" She smiled through the tears before moving forward in order to take his lips in a full kiss. "Forever is a very long time…" She spoke through the kiss, not wanting to break any of the contact.

"Not long enough…" Nikola kissed her back hoping that this moment would never end. "Not with you by my side."


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow. You are all amazing. I wasn't expecting such an amazing response to the first chapter. I'm so happy that you all like the story. To answer a couple of questions yes we are running AU. I just had a million ideas that I was desperate to get down on paper. I have to apologise because we are getting a little angsty for a bit…so here is Chapter 2. Thanks to alwayssmilingsam for being nice about everything I write. Also to agrainne24 for keeping me sane the past few days. Love you doll. **

Chapter 2

"I do believe gentleman that our work is nearly complete." Helen moved away from the magnifying glass as she spoke. They had been tirelessly working on the blood for the past months, and at the final checks it seemed to have finally turned the corner into the working serum they had been trying to create for months.

"About time, I was starting to grow tired of this damned room." John stood up from the chair that he sat in and walked to stand behind Helen, he bent down to look into the microscope. Purposefully brushing a hand against her thigh as he did it.

Helen felt her body tense at the contact, it was a secret to no one that John had decided Helen should be his, it was also no secret that John rarely failed to get that which he desired. No the only secret here was the relationship between Nikola and Helen, the relationship that at that very moment Nikola Tesla was finding very difficult to keep under wraps. He had promised Helen that he would do so until after the experiments on the blood were complete, however he was finding it increasingly difficult having to watch Druitt letch on his lady.

"Come now dear boy, getting bored of the room I can quite agree with, but surely the calibre of the company far outweighs that?" James spoke from the side of the room with an element of mischief in his voice. He was far from stupid and had watched the potential triangle between the three unfold before him. It intrigued him to see which of the potential suitors would be Helen's choice. Like the other two men in the room even he was unaware of the romance that had been growing between Nikola and Helen for quite some time.

"Even the best companions become tiresome after a while, even you must feel that Watson old boy." Druitt spoke before standing up from his position at the microscope. He looked around the room before nodding towards the men around him. I do believe that the lady is correct. Prepare yourselves gentleman for the next stage, we have complete the serum." He stepped back from the desk before walking back towards the door. "I would suggest that we meet back here in two hours for the commencement of stage two." With that he pushed open the door and left. Leaving the final four in the room.

James nodded towards them. "Till later gentleman, Helen." He nodded towards them before walking to Helen and lifting her right hand to his lips and gently kissing it. Nigel quickly left the room after him and let the door shut gently behind them, leaving Nikola and Helen alone in the room.

"So…" Nikola was the first to speak…he looked towards her and took a small step towards her. "Months of hard work seems to have come to something at last." He paused in front of her and reached down to take her hand, like James before he gently kissed her hand, though his kiss was more lingering than James had been. "I haven't been able to think of anything but you all day." He gently placed her hand down before running a hand across the side of her hip as John had done previously.

Unlike when John's hand had traced her hip Nikola's touch sent warmth through her body. "I have to finish here darling…" Her voice trailed off as she felt her body betray her and lean back into the touch, she wanted him more than words could explain.

"We have at least twenty minutes…" He took hold of her hand and pulled her away from the desk she worked at and back towards him. "Think about the wonderful ways we could use that time…" He bought him face closer towards hers before gently speaking against the lips that were only centimetres away from his own. "Everything that we could do together in that time, imagine everything that we could do…" His voice had dropped into the husky tone that he knew sent shivers all of the way down her body.

Helen felt her eyes flutter as her body starting melting into his. No matter how hard she tried to resist him, she was almost embarrassed to hear a whimper leave her mouth as he tried to pull away. She was quickly answered with his lips crushing against hers, the kiss was hard and took her breath away…but at the same time underlined every single thing that she loved about him.

Nikola gently moved her backwards against one of the empty desks, even through the thick material of her dress he could feel the increasing heat of her body coming through. He kissed her lips before gently dropping his kisses down across her neck, gently nipping on her pulse point before gently blowing on the spot. The mixture of the fluttering pulse point and gentle breath across her neck sent another shot of arousal through her body making her knees go weak. He was careful to catch her body to hold her closer. "Why Helen, I do believe your body seems to be betraying your real feelings."

Helen looked at him through her lust filled eyes. It frustrated her that he knew how to play her like an instrument, he knew exactly what her body wanted and the way to wind her up the tightest he could before releasing every emotion she was holding until she could think of nothing but him. "I cannot seem to explain the feelings you raise in me Niko…" She lifted a hand to stroke the side of her face.

Nikola gently turned his face to kiss her hand before a wicked grin flashed across his face. Without a word he dropped down to his knees in front of her. He lifted a little of her skirt before quickly diving underneath.

Helen opened her mouth to protest before she felt her knees buckle underneath his touch. "Dear Lord…"

…

Standing back at the desk Helen couldn't help but worry the pink tinge to her flesh and smile in her eyes wouldn't betray her and Nikola's activities from the past minutes. She still found it amazing what he could do to her with single touches. She had heard stories about being intimate with men, but this was something different, with Nikola she felt like the only woman in the world…as though her body was a beautiful piece of artwork he was spending time learning.

"You can still change your mind Helen…someone else you go first." James was the one to speak. He of course knew that Helen would not change her mind, she had many beautiful qualities, but her stubborn streak was one that ruled the rest. When she made a decision than very rarely would she change her mind, each of the men in the room were very aware of this.

"How many times James. This was my idea, and it seems only right that it should be me that goes first." She walked towards the chair that they had erected in the centre of the room they had spent months working in. She looked around the room before sitting down on the chair.

Nikola was pacing along the side of the room. He knew that they had been working on it…and that Helen wanted this more than anything before. It didn't stop him from worrying though, or for wanting to jump in front of her. Instead he had to watch her sit down on the chair and place out her arms in order for the straps to be tightened around them. It had been a decision made by them as a group that restraints were to be used. Watching them tighten around her wrist make Nikola realise the enormity of what they were about to do.

Sitting in the chair Helen could feel the pace of her heart quicken, she didn't let the fear cross her face. She wouldn't let any of them see the small doubts flickering through her mind. She did though look towards Nikola as he stood on the other side of the room. She was relieved as he looked towards her. "Need you…" She didn't speak out loud, the words were simply formed by her mouth in the hope that he would realise that she wanted him…in fact that she needed him by her side.

He watched the words on her lips and felt something inside of him change, the need to be with her…the need to protect her. Within moments he had crossed the room and knelt down on the floor next to her chair. He took one of the hands strapped to the chair and kept his focus on her. He didn't care that any of them were looking at him, or what they might be thinking about him. For that moment in time his focus remained on Helen. He kept her focus on his as the needle penetrated her arm…he didn't watch as it went in, it was all about her.

Helen watched him, she felt herself gently squeeze his hand, it had bought a sense of calm about her having him there. Watching him she felt the needle enter, the liquid enter her body. Then the pain started, she had known that it would come, but that didn't prepare her for the pain about to strike her body.

Nikola wanted to cry as he saw the pain across her face, he wanted to rip her from the chair and stop the foreign liquid coarsing through her veins, but it was too late. So he stayed there hold her hand, until finally her eyes opened, and before anyone else he saw the flash of black…

**A/N I hope you liked it…eek. Let me know. Tasha. xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So, currently sat in my shiny new flat watching Kush. Makes me smiley. Glad that you're all enjoying the story, that also makes me super happy. This is post-source blood, and I have to apologise, we're getting a little angsty folks. Oh and as per…agrainne24 = incredible…Hope you all enjoy it…loves and out **

**Chapter 3**

Sleep. That was all he could think about as he forced his eyes back open. He had been slightly aware of the pain coarsing through his body as he forced his eyes open, but it had been nothing compared to the instant fatigue he felt. His head had become a dead weight upon his shoulder, and he felt it rolling about on his neck. That was until the gentle hands moved around his face to support him. "I've got you Niko…I've got you…" The hands were gentle and familiar…Helen…it was his Helen. Gently rolling his eyes upwards he took in the familiar face in front of him. She was the same…yet there was something different…a glow about her.

The smell coming from her body was stronger than he had ever noticed…her perfume mixed with something more, an intoxicating depth that seemed to fill his nostrils. It took a moment before he realised that the smell was making him drool, it was filling every sense to the point of distraction. "You stayed…" The words were simple, but it was everything he had been thinking about. Then he started to remember what had happened before. The past months with the blood…that they had finished…it had been ready. He looked back up at Helen, the darkness had mostly faded from her eyes, but he was sure the blue was at least a shade darker than before, it only added to the beauty of them.

"Of course Niko…you were the last…you were out for quite some time…" She broke off again. Helen couldn't remember the last time she had worried so hard for someone she had loved. Nikola had insisted on being the last, he wanted to monitor the reactions in all of them, and if he was honest. He wanted to protect Helen up until the final minute. Everything had been running to plan, and none of them had been unconscious for long…that had been until Nikola.

From the moment that the plunger came down something had changed. His eyes had rolled back like the others, and he too had relaxed into the chair…but there he stayed, as his body seemed to made a slow but sure change around him. She had reached out to touch him, only to find his body cold as fresh ice. There was nothing any of them could do but wait, but waiting as she had quickly found out, was by far the hardest part. "I was…we were worried about you." Helen rarely found herself flustered, she had given presentations to rooms full of disapproving peers. This was different though, watching Nikola lying there, and being able to do nothing about it had aroused a feeling in her that she wasn't familiar with. Something that she hadn't realised lay quite so deep in her.

Nikola gently winked towards her. "Not getting rid of me quite that easily my dear Helen." He went to reach a hand out towards hers, quite forgetting about the restraints holding his wrists in place. "Ahh. Precautions to the last I see." He looked around at the men stood around the room. "Well, aren't one of you going to untie me?" He smiled at them for a moment, before realising that none of them were moving, in fact none of them seemed to have said a word since he had come back around to consciousness. "Gentleman?" The tone of his voice was automatically questioning what was happening. "I do appear to have missed something."

James was the first to speak. "We just need to be sure everything is quite safe Nikola. Each of us came around much quicker, and with obvious effects from the blood…"

Nikola knew that James was still talking, but he had found himself quite unable to concentrate. Something had triggered a movement within him…his head and focus shifted back to Helen. His eyes tracing down her body, desperately trying to figure out what it was that had changed, what it was that had made the most beautiful woman he had ever met seem suddenly even more enticing to him. His eyes moved from the floor across the curves of her dress and body. Her beautiful hips and small waist. The point where her cleavage started, and the dip in the top of her dress that allowed him the smallest view. Then his gaze stopped as he reached his neck. The creamy skin was quite the same colour it had always been, but as he watched it felt as though he could feel the gently pulse of blood running through her veins, and as though he could see the gentle movement beneath the surface of her perfect skin. Then there was the smell. It was like nothing he had known before. She still smelt like the Helen he had known, but somehow even better.

This time as Nikola began to salivate over the sight before him they all watched as he hungrily licked his lips at the sight of her, and the thought of her blood silently flowing through her veins.

"Dear Lord Nikola…what on earth is wrong…" Helen was the next to speak, she may have been many things, but stupid was certainly not one of them, she could clearly see the change in the man she was growing to know so well, and she wasn't sure that it was a change she liked. She knelt on the floor in front of him and took a breath before placing a hand on his leg. "Talk to me darling…" Her voice was quieter this time, and it nearly trailed off completely as she said the last word. Now wasn't the time or place to begin discussing their relationship with the other men in the room, but she needed to get through to her man.

"You seem so different Helen…so much more…alive…" He looked down at where she knelt, and without warning pulled hard against his chains, he couldn't stand looking at her, not without a chance to taste. Looking around he heard a growl come from his mouth. "Leave her alone…she is not yours…" The words were venomous…and somewhat menacing.

"Nikola please…" There was a crack in Helen's voice as she tried to get through to him. "Tell me what's wrong…"

He looked at her through eyes that was a mix of confusion and excitement, everything seemed to be telling him to grab her…to love…to kiss her…to…to… "Oh God…" The words left his mouth as realised just what his body wanted him to do to Helen, and suddenly everything seemed to have become quite clear.

John's low throated laugh cut through his thoughts as he too seemed to have realised what was happening. "How simply funny…we should have realised much sooner. Why Nikola…it seems that you have simply become a…"

"Vampire…" The word was breathy as it left Helen's mouth, she had seen the change in him, and realised that it was the throbbing vein in her neck that seemed to have gained most of his attention. "Oh Niko…" She hung her head down slightly, not sure that she could face looking back up at him quite yet.

Nikola wanted to run away, this wasn't how it was meant to have been. They were happy, planning a future…could they still do any of that now…was this it? He watched Helen slightly lift her head so he was able about to see her tear rimmed eyes looking up at him. It seemed that she had quite the same thought. What did any of this mean for them?

**A/N So there we go…Nikola is a vampire…sorry for spoiling if you haven't watched the series haha…more will follow soon I hope. xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello lovely people, while I have a chance I just wanted to say thank you to everyone reading this. I know it's angsty and sometimes hard to read, but I promise you all that it will wrap up nicely in the end…it may just take a while. However if there's anything that you think needs changing or any ideas then feel free to drop me a line. Heads up to alwayssmilingsam who is working tonight…all night…and to my lovely beta agrainne24 who just makes me smile a lot…especially when she surprises me with Sanctuary DVD's in the post. Love you doll. Enjoy you lovely people. Tasha. Xx**

**Chapter 4**

He could feel his head thrashing from side to side with no control over it. The smell invading his senses was like nothing he had ever experienced before. It was more than a smell, it took over every nerve in his body. He could feel the saliva forming within his mouth, then there was a slicing pain through his gums that told him the fangs he had been fighting had come through. The vicious cuts on his lips were the reminder of the last time they had caught him unaware.

"Nikola…" The voice was gentle as it tried to cut through the pain he was feeling…but he couldn't face opening his eyes, he didn't want to reveal the venom that he knew his eyes betrayed in him. Then he felt the gentle touch of her hand against his arm as once again she tried to bring him round into the same consciousness as her.

"No…" The gentle voice cracked as he tried to fight everything he wanted in that moment. He wanted to open his eyes…he wanted to drink in the sight of her deep inside his soul so it would never leave. He hated to admit it, but there was something about her that was helping him cling on to the humanity he craved while his body was trying to drag himself into the darkness on the outside. "Don't…" He clenched his eyes tighter trying to drag himself away, but in doing so he could feel the tear rolling down the side of his cheek.

Helen was breaking her heart watching Nikola fight the venom she had let him put into his body, it had taken a lot to let them push the plunger down on his arm. She had grown to love the man she knew and in a selfish didn't ever want that to change. Yet here she was watching him fight for the man she knew, and watching him fight for the humanity she knew lay deep inside.

He felt a shiver run across his body as the warmth of her touch left his hand, he had to fight his instinct not to reach out and bring her hand back, he wanted the comfort she bought to him. As he managed to push the fear aside he felt something different, a breath against his lips. He realised too late what was happening as her lips crushed against him.

She knew that it was the wrong thing to do, but she needed to do something to bring him around to her. Despite the changes she could see in his body, there was the same familiarity in his lips from before.

Nikola felt his relax under her touch, she wanted so much to be able to release him from the restraints. It was fine feeling the touch of his lips against hers, but she wanted to feel the rest of him against her, she wanted to be able to lie with him as they had before. Then he felt the change running through his body, there is was again. The smell that was starting to haunt ever part of his being…it started gently, but then he could hear the gentle throb of her pulse, and feel the beat of the bloody running through her lips.

She was so close, he could just reach out and…he snapped his head back from hers at the same moment his eyelids flew open revealing the darkness that lay inside of them. "No…" He shouted as he pulled away, knowing that the fangs had betrayed his true nature once more. "Get away…." He turned his head to the side, trying to think of anything but her and the sweet nectar running through her veins, no matter how hard he tried everything about it was clouding his thoughts. Turning his head back towards her he was desperate to see her again before he undoubtedly had to leave. It broke his heart, but he couldn't risk hurting her, and even being around her he knew that he could snap at any moment…he wasn't himself…not any more.

"Nikola…darling…" She reached out a hand to stroke down the side of his cheek, but she felt him flinch before she had even touched him. Shocked she pulled away. "Come back to me Niko…please…" She heard her voice crack with the words. The realisation that everything had changed was starting to hit her. That they may never have back what they had, that the dream wedding may stay the dream it was in her head. She had never been someone to want the perfect ending, her work had always been the most important thing in her life…but this had been different. With Nikola she had seen her future…possibly a child with gentle curls and his annoying humour.

"No…" He looked towards her, the tears having finally flowed over the edge of his eyes. "You have to go Helen…please…" He turned away, needing her to understand that she needed to do this for him. He couldn't face the thought of ever losing her, but even more the idea of hurting her broke his heart. "For me darling…you have to do this for me."

"No…" Helen shook her head and moved towards him, she quickly snapped open the restraints and kissed him again, with every ounce of passion she held inside of him. Needing him to know everything about how she felt, and every piece of emotion she held inside of her body.

On realising that his wrists were free Nikola quickly sat up and pulled her onto his lap his hands moving around her body and pulling her flush towards him, holding her close to his body as he tasted every part of her lips and warm mouth. It was as they had been before, twined in a closeness that only lovers could share. He was Nikola Tesla, and this was his beautiful Helen.

She relaxed her body into his as he pulled her closer, there was a certain part of her neck that they both knew she loved being kissed, without thinking she moved his neck to that spot pulling him closer…lost in the very moment of it all.

In that moment Nikola felt everything about him change, his lips were held tight against the throbbing vein in her neck. He could feel the gentle pulse of her blood against his lips. How easy would it be just to…

Helen gasped at the pain she felt in her neck, though the second gasp symbolised the shot of pleasure that followed through her. It was a sensation like nothing she had ever experienced before, there was a completely despicable noise running around the room, and it took her a moment to realise that the loud groans were coming from deep inside of her.

She tasted of nothing he could ever describe, and like nothing he had ever imagined. Of course he had tasted blood before this, when he had cut his finger as a child he had gently sucked the horrible iron liquid. This was nothing like that, it was sweeter than any nectar he could ever imagine. With a warmth that flowed through every single part of his body. She was beautiful through her inside and out.

Helen could feel herself becoming lighter, she was of course lost in the moment, but there was always the doctor part of her, knowing that she didn't have much more blood to give to him. Though she had to admit, that she didn't mind, she was happy, and she was with Nikola…

He started to feel her becoming limp under him and something flashed over him. Quickly he pulled away released her neck from his mouth and feeling her fall gently against him. Then he realised, that when he was with her there would always be a shimmer of humanity shining through, however as he stroked the hair away from her neck he revealed the fresh punctures, he knew that she would be ok…but that wasn't the point. He had hurt her…and he wasn't sure he could deal with that. Gently he lifted her and placed her on the bed, she would come around in an hour or so. By then he would be gone, far enough away that he wouldn't be able to hurt her again…


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So basically had a week off work…and now go back to work poorly. Not impressed, but on the plus side, is making me want to write fic…and be nice and post. Was going to try and hold out for some more lovely reviews, but decided against it. Your all amazing and much lovies for you all. I promise we wont be angsty forever, keep with it…but the next few chapters are probably going to be quite emotional...sorry. As always let me know what you think. Tasha. (Oh…and go read Fair Trade and review so agrainne24 will finally believe me when I tell her how good it is. Thankssss)**

**Chapter 5**

"Dear Lord…" James let out the words as he rounded the corner into the infirmary room that had been holding Nikola, there was no sign of the man he had counted a friend, but Helen was slumped across the bed, with an undeniable red liquid oozing from a wound in her neck. In all of the stories and myths he had read about the race, it had turned out that the one that held the most truth was of the vampire choosing to bite its victims neck.

Rushing to her he gently turned her so he could see her pale face, lifting a finger he was relieved to find a pulse, even if it was much weaker than he had been hoping for. "Come on darling, we need to get you moving." Gently lifting her body he moved quickly as he dared towards the room they had set up for medical emergencies. Though even James had to admit that he was slightly worried, none of them had dealt with something like this before.

Helen tried to move against his arms, her fists coming out against his chest. Fighting the closeness he was trying to create between them. Even in her state of unconsciousness she knew that his body was not then one she wanted to be close to, he smelt different to the man she loved…she wanted her Nikola.

"Try not to move Helen…I don't know what we're dealing with yet." He pushed open the door to the medical room before quickly moving her inside and onto the medical bed that stood in there. Gently placing her down he moved around to pull up the basic monitoring kit. All the time watching to make sure she didn't push herself from the bed, she was understandably restless.

"Helen…" The door flew open and John stood there, quickly followed by Nigel. John stood there with both of his hands placed on his hips looking over the woman lying on the bed before very quickly making his judgement on what had happened to her. "Where is he…" He quickly turned on James and there was an underlying menace within his voice.

"He was gone by the time I found her…but it can't have been long, the wounds were still relatively fresh." He turned around with a syringe in his hand that he quickly pushed into her arm. "A sedative…I need to stop her struggling." He felt the need to justify each of his decisions while he was around John.

James couldn't stop his mind from wandering, while Nikola's reaction to the source blood had been violent and more than any of them could have ever expected, but in many ways the change in John scared him more. There was something about every movement, and every single thing that he said that sent a shiver running through his body. If he was being honest, then there was a complete distrust of him…and the unpredictability of him worried him.

"Will she pull through?" John raised his eyebrows as he asked the question, he walked over towards the bed so he was able to stand next to her. He snapped his head up to look at James. "Well?"

"We've never dealt with this sort of injury before…" James didn't want to sound defeatist, but it was true. He trusted in his own abilities, but he wasn't a miracle maker. They were dealing with a vampire bite for heavens sake.

"She needs to be ok…you need to fix this." John bought his fist down on the bed next to were Helen's unconscious body lay. He bought his hand up to his head before taking a deep breath.

"You need to give me some space." James felt his voice get harsher and louder with the sentence. He tried hard as he could to stay calm most of them time, but he was helping her. Couldn't John see this was hurting him as well…it was killing him that he couldn't change this, and that he hadn't been there to protect her.

John looked at him with what could only be described as a venomous glare, but he didn't say anything else. He simply looked back from Helen to James before turning around and walking away. He shut the door behind him with much more force than had been needed.

Watching him go James breathed out a sigh of relief before turning back to Helen. The tests had all started to run, and while he hated saying it or having to admit it they would have to wait for the results before anything could be decided. However thankfully nothing so far appeared critical, it was now going to be a case of wait and see.

…

Even before she opened her eyes Helen could feel the small difference in her body. It felt as though she ached all over, and her eye lids were heavy against her head. It took an effort that became painful to force them open to face the harsh light shining down on her. There was only one room that held lights quite as fierce as that one. She realised then that she was in the room she seemed to have named the infirmary, and by the feel of springs digging into her back, she had been placed on the cheap medical bed they had managed to acquire from the university.

She didn't try and rush up, she knew the men around her well, and if they had decided she needed to be in there, then there was almost certainly a good reason for it. Helen just hoped that she would remember it quickly. Starting at the beginning of her day she ran through it, checking for any strange occurences. There was nothing striking her until she came to the infirmary. She had waited all day for a chance to go and see him. They had all tried to fight her about it, but this was one argument that she would not lose.

She remembered his fragile frame on the bed, no longer did he look quite right. They were only small changed, and not everyone would be able to pick them up. However she had spent more time with him in the previous months than she cared to admit. She saw the slight darkening of his eyes. And the harsher chisel of his jaw that others may have missed. Though more than anything else she saw the deep pain etched into his face, a pain that she had put him through. Even thinking back to the previous day she could feel the tear forming in the corner of her eye, she didn't bother to try and stop it, in fact there was a certain amount of relief as it spilled over and rolled an imperfect path down her cheek.

She remembered talking to him, and seeing the glint of the man she loved…then there was the kiss. With a sigh she recalled releasing his bonds, she had known that he would never intentionally hurt her…then there was the pain…but more importantly the pleasure she felt. Lifting a hand to her neck she felt the padded bandage there. Ironic…that the one myth that turned out to be true about the vampires was the neck biting, there would have been no hiding that one even if she had tried. Flicking her mind back through, Helen realised that she remembered one more thing…he had pulled away before he went too far. There had been something within his that had stopped his from killing her…meaning that her Nikola was still in there somewhere, fighting to come back to her.

It was as though she was lying there again, after he had pulled away everything around her seemed so cold…she automatically missed the warmth of his body pressed against hers. It sent a shiver down her shine thinking about it, but then the warmth had come over her again, as in her semi-conscious state he had reached over and stroked the hair away from her cheek before gently kissing the spot. "I love you Helen…I love you…" The words were a gentle whisper before he left her again, and this time she heard the door close after him. She was too exhausted to let the tears fall, but it was ok. She knew that he was still in there, and all the time that was clear it meant she would fight for him, and everything they had together.

…

"Helen, thank God your awake…" James rushed through the door on seeing her bright blue eyes looking back at him. He hurried to put down everything he was holding before gently sitting on the side of the bed and taking one of her hands in his own. "How are you…" He broke off before looking at her.

"I'm fine James…" It was a lie and they both knew it, the past few days had shaken them all greatly, this had just been the next event in the series they were currently experiencing. None of them were really fine, but it was going to take something out of the ordinary for any of them to express their true feelings. "I'm sorry for giving you all such a scare." She gently turned her head so she could look away from him, she wasn't sure that she was ready to hear Nikola be berated in the way that she knew was to come. What right did any of them have to judge what had happened…they had all changed due to the blood, it was as much the fault of any of them as Nikola…how would any of them had guessed what was to come. Feeling herself become angrier Helen clenched her fist underneath the covers. This wasn't the right time or the right person to become angry with. Not now.

"We will need to talk about it Helen…not now…but you and I both know that at some point it has to happen." James had been watching her and Nikola for some time. It didn't take his genius to realise that something more that a simple friendship had blossomed between the two of them, and while in some ways it was a lovely thing to watch, he couldn't help but think of the many tragic possibilities. It was on occasions such as this that he hated the tendency he had of being right.

"Has he gone?" She knew the answer to the question already, and part of her didn't want to ask the question, for in a small way it seemed that while she didn't know there could still be a small chance of him being tucked away somewhere. Hiding until she was well again. Looking up at James she knew the answer straight away. Today obviously wasn't meant for fairy tale endings.

"No one has seen him since…" James shook his head. "He hasn't taken his things though Helen…I can't imagine he will be away for long." He sat down gently on the bed next to her.

"So…" Helen rested a hand on top of his before lifting her head to look at him. "I'm assuming that I will make a full recovery from this?" She waved her hand in the general direction of her neck. "God, this is so wrong…all of this." She quickly lifted her knees and bought her arms tightly around them.

James wanted to cry, he had never seen Helen bring herself into such a defensive position, and it scared him more that he could do nothing about it. "You're going to be fine darling…no lasting effects, I don't even think that you will have a scar." This was so far out of his comfort zone that he could only think about resorting to straight doctor mode. He had been through so much training for so many aspects of his life, yet nothing had ever prepared him for this.

Helen nodded gently. "Thank you…" She nodded towards him before gently releasing her legs and taking a deep breath. "We will talk eventually James, I just need to get my head around all of this." She patted the top of his hand as she forced a smile towards him.

"Ok, well I want to keep you in here for another couple of hours, but then you should be fine." He stood from the chair and walked to the door ready to leave. "I'll see you later then." He nodded towards her before walking out of the door and leaving Helen in the room.

Helen watched him go, part of her was pleased that it had been James that walked through the door and not John, she wasn't sure that she could deal with his disapproving attitude at the moment. However at the same time it had been just as bad speaking to James, he knew her the best out all of the men in her life, but that meant he knew the things that hurt her, and the way to open her up. The only problem was that she wasn't ready to expose her true feelings to him yet.

Helen wiped her eyes fighting away the tears. In all of this, and through all of the pain she missed Nikola…and she wanted was for him to walk through the door and wrap his arms around her. Just to tell her that everything was being ok. Instead it was her own arms wrapped around her, and sobs not words that eventually sent her to sleep.

**A/N: So thoughts? You all still with me? I just don't think fic should always be smiles and lights…and I guess I always quite like to put characters through the mill to make it even more shiny when they get together…hint hint haha. Tasha. xx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Not going to fib lovelies, we are going rather more angsty from here on in…promise it will all work out in the end. Stick with me if you can. Heads up to agrainne24 who kicked me out of my confidence crisis haha, much love honey bunch.**

**Chapter 6**

'We need to be monitoring the progression of changes occurring from the blood. It is essential that we keep a true diary of events or else…' She broke off, she wanted to say that otherwise this was all going to be pointless…but she was angry about the whole situation, had she lost the man she loved for a pointless experiment? She wasn't happy to risk losing any of this, the least she could do was to keep a track of the changes in all of them to make sure they knew what was happening.

'I hardly thing this is the time to be focusing on such things Helen.' John was the one who spoke with venom in his voice. 'We should be focusing on what it did to you…what _he _did to you.' John stood from where he was sitting and moved to the back of the room.

'I see no reason to discuss recent events any further John, it is of upmost importance that we see the experiment through to the end.' She wasn't in the mood to play his games. They would do this, and they would do it the way they had always planned to do it.

'I don't think you have much say in this particular matter Helen…it is obvious to everyone that it is too close.' He walked around to behind the chair she sat on and placed his hands on either side of the back rest. 'We need to talk about Nikola…and what happened…' His tone had become more menacing.

'John I hardly think this is the time. She should still be resting.' It was James attempting to come to her rescue, he knew how much all of this was hurting Helen, and that was the last thing he wanted.

'Resting…yes…' Helen went to stand from the chair before feeling the firm hands pushing her back down again, in her normal state she would have fought back…and told him exactly what she thought about his actions. However whether she liked it or not she was not at full strength, and for the time being there was no telling how long it would take for her to reach it again.

'No no Helen…you were so insistent on being up and about, I suggest we make the most of this time.' He walked back around to stand in front of her. 'Now I suggest that you enlighten us all on the true nature of your relationship with Mr Tesla…' John lifted his eyebrow at the same time as cocking his head towards her, he wasn't going to be letting this one drop easily.

Helen pursed her lips before gently letting her head drop. She had finally realised what game it was John was playing. The real question was for how long had he known about her and Nikola. 'I'm not sure it's the right time to be discussing it. There are much more important things to be talking about.' It was her last attempt to divert him from the subject, but they could both tell it was a feeble one.

'Now now Helen…I can think of no better time.' John gave her a menacing smile with the realisation that he was quickly winning the battle of wills currently occurring between the two of them. 'You have always said that the five of us share things most other mortals can merely dream of…it seems hardly right to have secrets between such a close group of friends my dear…'

Helen looked towards James, her eyes flicked to Nigel and then she raised her hands so she could rest her head in them. 'Nikola and I…well our relationship became something more…well something more than friends.' She paused and took a breath, this was the last thing she had wanted. She disliked disclosing her true feelings at the best of times, let alone when she was under pressure to do so.

'Do carry on Helen.' John had joined his hands behind his back, twining his fingers between both hands before pulling apart attempting to relieve some of the tension he felt. There was an anger bubbling within him that he couldn't explain. Since the source blood he felt as though there was something more inside him, it was as though he could see things clearly for the first time, he could see everything going on around him. More importantly though he could see the things people were hiding, or to be more accurate, things that they were attempting to hide from him. 'It was getting so interesting.'

Helen looked up at him. She was almost ashamed to admit that the dampness was increasing in her eyes as a clear coating of tears washed through them, it was all she could do to prevent the tears from cascading down her cheeks. 'Please John…leave it be…' Could he not see that she was hurting so much already…losing Nikola was tearing her apart, it hurt more than she could ever imagine articulating and she couldn't see any way through it.

'But Helen…you wouldn't want to keep secrets from us darling…we are the closest people you have after all…' He knew that he was playing her beautifully, and deep inside there was something trying to make him stop, but it was far too exciting. Seeing her so uncomfortable from his questions was intoxicating, he felt that he could find himself drunk on the power of it all. There was something incredible about being in control…the feeling he had…

'John stop this madness, can you not see what this is doing to her?' He stood up from where he sat and walked over to where Helen was, sitting down next to her he wrapped a protective arm around her as he gently pulled her closer into the warmth of his body.

Helen felt the tears finally spill over the corners of her eyes as James held her close, he gently rubbed his hand across her back in what was an incredibly soothing motion. She could feel the tension begin to flow from her body. That was until once again she heard John speak.

'Don't tell me she has you fooled as well James…can't you see what she is doing? She has you exactly where she wants to…Nikola leaves and she moves straight onto the next un-expecting victim…' He could feel himself getting angrier with every moment.

'John you are being quite ridiculous and irrational about this whole situation. So Helen and Nikola had become courting. Quite a normal occurrence in a group of people working so closely together, now I suggest we let Helen rest, and when she is rested once more we can do as she suggested and document the results of the experiment.' He finished speaking before standing and putting an arm around Helen so he could gently guide her to her feet before guiding her back to her room.

'You wait…it'll become clear to you all soon what she's been doing, what they have been doing. They managed to keep this secret for long enough…don't you wander what else they have been keeping. The experiments they have no doubt been planning while we were all away.' He stood up as he watched Helen and James leave the room.

…

James helped Helen down into the bed and gently moved the covers around her so he felt she would at least be comfortable, even if there wasn't much he could do about the fragile nature of her emotional state. 'You know where I am if you need me sweetheart.' He stroked the stray hairs away from her face before walking from the room and leaving her.

Helen simply lay there for a while after he had left the room, she couldn't recall the last time she had felt this alone. Eventually she look hold of one of the many pillows from her bed and wrapped her arms tightly around it, holding it close to her body. She had hoped it would give her some of the closeness and comfort that she so craved…while it worked to some extent it was still nothing like having Nikola's familiar arms wrapped tight around her body keeping her safe. 'Oh Nikola…where are you…' The words slipped out along with a number of tears as she tried to fight the tiredness and emotion that was quickly covering her body.

…

John paced the drawing room on his own, he felt that his mind had become clearer in recent days, he could see many things that he wanted…and many things that had been hidden away from him. His mind instantly went back to the woman lying upstairs. For so long now he had been trying to hide away the feelings he felt for her, trying to convince himself that it was simply the close proximity of their work that had led to the feelings he felt, but then there had been so many changes in how he felt…

He crunched his hand into a fist at the thought of her with another man, at the thought of her being with him…how wrong it all seemed when she should have been his. He paused for a moment thinking about the situation that seemed to surround them. They he felt his face crack into a smile, how simple it all now seemed. She would be his still, that he would make sure of, and now he had all the ammunition he needed to make it happen. It seemed things may turn out as he had hoped for after all.

**So…ideas? Opinions? All are very much appreciated. If you feel like it then reviews are very very welcome. Thanks. Tasha. xx**


	7. Chapter 7

**Please stay with me lovely people, but we're going really angsty. I have to put out a warning that this chapter does contain scenes some people will find upsetting and is a really really strong T rating. Sorry. Thank you to agrainne24 for beta-ing this despite finding it upsetting. Love you doll. Also to alwayssmilingsam for reviewing every single chapter. You are incredible. Tasha. Xx**

**Chapter 7**

As she came around from what had been a restless sleep she felt the urge to be sick too late, she had a moment to throw her head over the side of the bed and to grasp out for the waste basket next to her bed. She spent the next few minutes losing the entire contents of her stomach into the waste bin. When the retches had eventually passed she took two deep breaths before lifting her head and her body back onto the bed. She tried to calm her racing heart, she started calming it down slowly before her mind started working to try and figure out what had made her so ill.

As she tried to sit up a shooting pain through her lower abdomen that made her cry out and wrap her arms around herself. Struggling against the pain she pushed herself around and dropped her feet to the floor. She grabbed the robe that hung on the back of the door and flung it around herself before pushing open her heavy bedroom door and making her way out into the waiting hallway.

'Helen…' All of a sudden James' arms were round her as he tried to keep her upright, looking at him and around everything seemed to be turning into a blur. Try as she might, she couldn't stop the room from spinning.

'Bleeding…' She tried to say the word in a vain hope that he would understand before gently trying to motion towards the lower part of her body. She had felt the damp liquid flowing down her legs before leaving her room, and while she couldn't see. There was no doubt in her mind that it would be obvious by now.

James looked down and instantly realised what was happening. 'Ok darling.' Gently he scooped her into his arms and carried her not down to the medical room, but instead back into her own quarters and placing her on the bed. If it was what he thought and the most likely cause of her pain then he didn't want anyone bursting in on them yet.

'James…the pain…' She was fighting hard to stay conscious, but it was a fight she felt herself very quickly losing. The pain was washing through the lower part of her body in waves, each one stronger than the last.

'I know Helen, but I need to check this is what I think…' He took a place on the bed by her feet before looking back up to the woman lying before him. 'I need to examine you Helen. Can I do that?' He knew that this was against anything that should be done, and that she should be taken to see a female nurse, but it was too late for anything to be done now…and they needed to keep knowledge of this to the minimum.

Helen looked at him and gently nodded before relaxing her legs so he was able to remove her blood soaked nightclothes. In an instant he had gathered towels from the bathroom so he could place them underneath her, as well as one over the top of her legs. He still wanted to protect the modesty she had left. He cleaned as much of the blood away as he could before gently starting to examine her. He was nearly finished when a fresh wave of blood flowed from her body with the remains of the miscarriage she was clearly experiencing. He swallowed deeply and took a deep breath before wrapping the towel around the mess in front of him and quickly removing it from the room.

'James…' There was a tear in her voice. She had felt something change in the pain, and from the quick removal of the towel and its contents, it had confirmed to Helen what was happening with her body. She already felt angry with herself that she had not realised sooner. She was a doctor for heaven's sake, she should have picked up the signs and given herself some time to think. None of them should have had to be put into this experience. 'Is it finished?' She could feel her internal muscles finally start to relax from the intense cramping that they had been going through.

She tried to push herself up on her elbows before the sheer exhaustion running through her body took over and she collapsed back onto the bed. She wanted to see his face when he spoke to her, he was one of the most accomplished liars she knew when the true need arose. However even he could not change the truth that his face would often betray.

'The worst should be done, but I expect you will be uncomfortable for several days…and I have no doubt that emotionally you may struggle for some time yet…' Before he could finish what he was saying the door to Helen's room flew open without a knock and John stood there surveying the unusual scene placed before him. 'John this is quite inappropriate, you can't be in here.' James gently let Helen's legs down on to the bed before using the towel to fully cover her. He stood up and moved in front of John attempting to block his view any further, despite them both knowing that he had seen quite enough to know what was happening.

'I heard screaming…then she wasn't in the medical room…I could any assume…well…' John looked straight past James to Helen before looking back at the doctor in front of him. 'I couldn't only assume that you were attempting to hide something, and now I can see why.' He looked back to Helen being unable to hide the complete disgust on his face. 'This will be discussed further in the morning.' With the final words he turned and left the disturbing scene he had encountered in the room.

James watched him go before raising a hand to his head. 'Helen I am so sorry.' He turned towards her and walked to sit gently beside her on the bed. Gently he slipped an arm around her and lifted her body so she could rest against him. He knew that there would be little chance of her sleeping any further, but he at least wanted her to know that he was there, and he wouldn't be leaving her in a hurry.

'Where is he James…' She wanted to cry as she thought about him, she already missed him with every part of her being, and while it felt comforting having James so close, it still made every part of her ache for Nikola, she wished so hard that it was his arm wrapped around her…and his gentle voice comforting her over the loss of their baby. Instead she couldn't keep her mind from John and everything he had seen. There had been no doubt in her mind that he wanted her, and he was not stupid. In order for her to suffer a miscarriage meant that the relationship between herself and Nikola had become physical…a fact that both of them knew could destroy her and everything she held close and wanted to do… She knew that her future now lay in John's hands.

James held her close. 'I don't know Helen, but I know that he would be here for you if he could.' There was a part of him that felt guilty for being the one here with her, that wished it had been him driven away by the blood and not the man she loved. 'You should try and rest now. There will be much to discuss in the morning.' James knew that his statement was obvious. There had already been a lot they needed to talk about before John had entered the chambers, now it seemed the whole situation had become more serious than either of them could have wanted, and he was the first to admit that he was not sure John could control his feelings towards Helen, or the rage he felt inside. No to James it was quite clear that this night could be the start of a painful road that they all seemed destined to travel.

**Are you still with me? Hope you're all ok, and I am sorry for being so mean, but it needed to happen to keep the story rolling along. Thanks for reading, it means a lot. Tasha. xx**


	8. Chapter 8

**So…surprise. I decided to post earlier than intended, have a couple of chapters written for this, and pretty much enjoy writing it so yeah Thanks for all your lovely reviews. Muchly appreciated. Thanks again to agrainne24 for reading all of these through. Enjoy.**

**Chapter 8**

Helen let her eyelids open as felt the painful cramp across her stomach, it wasn't the gut wrenching pain she had been experiencing the night before, more the repercussions from the extensive pain she had been through. Along with the pain in her stomach she couldn't shake the throbbing in her head, there were so many things running through her mind. The main one being the questioning about the previous night, and the hope that it had in fact all been the clichéd dream she had hoped for. Unfortunately the pain she felt had put pay to that idea, as she gently levered herself up she saw the change of bed clothes she was on. They had decided against changing the whole set of clothes, so she was on a half made bed with a throw over the top of her, she was in simple cotton nightclothes, and there was a smell in the room that still made her want to retch. There was a clinging smell of disinfectant from James' attempt to clean up the evidence of what had happened. Again it had been hurried, and she was sure that there would still be spots that had been missed, but he had done his best…and that she appreciated.

The idea of the clean-up in itself made her want to cry, the idea that they had tried to brush everything away, and wash away any of the evidence from what had happened made her feel sick. She felt so much guilt over everything had happened. She may not have known that she was pregnant, but she still felt the loss of the baby through her whole being, that had she known than there may have been a chance she could have stopped it. She knew that it wasn't healthy to be thinking all of the different scenarios through, but she couldn't help thinking about how things could have been different, or about Nikola…

God Nikola…she missed with every single part of her, but it was more than emotional. There was a physical ache in her body that his disappearance had created. It didn't matter to her how he had disappeared or what had happened, she just that her whole body ached to have him back with her.

There was a gentle knock at her door. 'Come in.' It was amazing how she had learnt to tell who was at the door from the tone and strength of the knock. She was quite convinced even from the small knock that it was James at the door. She felt her stomach fall when it was John that walked through the door to her bed chamber.

'Hello Helen, I thought we would take an opportunity to talk before everyone else becomes involved.' He walked towards her bed before dropping himself into the chair in the corner of her room. Leaning back her placed a chair on each arm of the chair and cocked his head in the same way as the night before.

'John I'm tired. We don't have to do this now…' Helen couldn't believe how vulnerable she felt at that moment. There was a realisation that it was simply her and John in her bedchamber, and she was only wearing simple cotton nightclothes. She flicked her eyes towards the door in the realisation that she couldn't get there…she was truly trapped with a man that she no longer knew.

'Oh I think we both know that we have to do this now dear Helen. I mean it seems clear that you've been keeping secrets…and you must know by now that I don't like secrets…' He pushed himself up from the chair and walked to stand beside her bed. 'Now…I think we are both quite clear on one thing, the relationship between you and Mr Tesla was most certainly more than a friendship…'

'John…please…' Helen looked up at him, she could feel her body start to tremble, there was something different about him that scared her, it had been growing since they had injected the source blood. She couldn't place a finger on it, but there was no doubting its existence, or the change it had bought about in him, and that scared her a great deal more than anything Nikola was supposedly capable of doing.

'Oh John…don't John…for goodness sake Helen, I was sure we were past you acting the innocent one. We both know that you and Nikola were being intimate…the question is who else knows.' He reached a hand across to stroke it down the side of her face. 'I mean there is no doubt in my mind now, not after last night.' He paused and removed his hand. 'Of course James must know, he was playing the good doctor after all.' He stepped back and crossed his arms, once again looking down at her. 'However what would your father think…and the people who support your work. I wonder how they would react to finding out that dear sweet Helen is in fact tainted…' The final word rolled across him tongue like something to savour. 'I wonder how indeed. I mean it's hard enough for a woman to gain a place in such a world as this anyway, without her reputation being shredded by something such as this.' He took a step backwards again.

Helen felt herself let out a breath she didn't realise she had been holding as she watched him step back from her. 'What do you want John? We both know what is happening here, and I suggest that rather than carrying on your game, that you simply name your price.' She was tired and emotional, and she knew that was carrying through into her tone and her words. She wanted to play this game no more, and was prepared to give him what he wanted. The one thing that Helen hadn't counted on, was that John desired something much more than the simple gift of money.

'Why Helen…I'm not sure that you understand.' He let out a deep chuckle at the naivety of her words. 'It is not money that I desire.' He turned around to look around the room before pulling up the chair and sitting close to her one more.

'Then what…' The tone he had developed worried her, what was he was asking of her. He knew that he could have all the money and equipment he desired…but something more?

'Your hand Helen…the price for my silence is quite simply your hand in marriage.' He looked at her as he spoke, wanting to make sure that she realised how serious a proposal this was. This was no game, and she needed to understand that, no he didn't play games, nor were there many occasions on which he failed to get the object he desired.

Helen looked at him eyes wide, she wanted to believe that she had misheard him, but the speed and tone of his voice had made that nearly impossible. There was no doubting what he had just requested, his sanity however was a different matter entirely. 'John you must know that it simply isn't possible…I have promised myself to another man.'

'Nonsense woman, you promised yourself to a man who died when he ingested the blood. The Nikola you 'promised' yourself to died in the chair.' He shook his head at her. 'Besides, you truly think that your father would let you marry a man who had taken such liberties with you before you were rightfully his. Come now Helen, I thought you were much smarter than that.' The side of his lip curled at how this was working out, and at the knowledge he would have an answer for each of her protests. Surely she knew there was no way out of this one, not without creating a scandal that would have lasting damage not only on her, but on her family and their precious work.

'John you have lost your mind. There are antidotes to the blood, ways to control the demons that have taken Nikola…' She stopped for a moment needing to take a breath. 'You must understand that while there is a chance, that I can not marry another man, not while my heart still lies with another.' She didn't want to think his words over any more. The realisation was beginning to strike about the power of the knowledge he held, and the damage he seemed willing to do with it.

'I don't think that you have been listening Helen.' John could feel his anger starting to rise from the pit of her stomach. 'Either you marry me…or I will destroy you…' His tone lowered towards the end of the sentence. 'Imagine it now…Helen Magnus, not only tainted before marriage, but imagine what they would all think if they found out about the events of last night. What would they all think after finding out that you carried a baby within your body outside of marriage…who would ever want you then?'

Helen could feel the warm tear rolling down her cheek. 'I want you to leave now John.' She lifted a hand and pointed towards the door. 'You have said quite enough.' She watched as he finally did as she had requested and walked towards the door. He lifted his had to the knob, but paused before twisting it.

'You can try and run from this Helen, but we both know you have little choice now.' He let out another of the menacing laughs. 'Either you become my wife…or quite simply you will be ruined.' He didn't turn around to look at her again, instead he twisted the door knob and left as quietly as he had entered, leaving Helen behind him caught between a state of disbelief and complete anguish.

Helen curled her legs back around her and let the sobs flow freely from her body. Not only had she lost her lover and their baby, she was now faced with an impossible decision, from which it seemed that there was only one possible outcome. The question was, whether she could face any of the consequences?

**A/N Just realised I finished this on a really sad note, it will get happier, promise. Tasha. xx**


	9. Chapter 9

**Update time lovely people. Again I apologise for the sad times ahead…I have to admit that it will probably get a little bit worse before it gets better. Thank you for sticking with me and reading it. Shouts to agrainne24 for being amazing… Love you all for reading and reviewing. Big hearts. Xxx**

**Chapter 9**

'Helen…' The voice whirled around the disturbed dream she was going through. 'Helen..' There is was again, she could feel her body thrashing through the dream, but she was fighting against opening her eyes…she couldn't face it…the idea that he wasn't there.

'No…' The word was a sob as she fought against him. Then there was a hand running through her hair, trying to calm the speeding pulse running through her body. 'Please…I can't do this…'

Then there were hands on both of her cheeks and a finger running across her lips. She could feel the breath against her hear. This time the voice was louder. 'Wake up for me my darling. I need you to wake up.' Then there was the pressure of his lips against hers, the familiar sensation was too much and she felt her eyes opening.

She looked into the blue eyes that were a shade brighter than her own. 'Please don't be a dream…I don't think that my heart can take it again…' She felt her hand being taken in his and watched as it was raised to rest on the cheek she loved the touch of.

'Promise.' Carefully he slipped gently into the bed next to her and lifted her body so she rested flush against him, only then did he feel the sobs beginning to shake her body. 'I'm here my darling…I'm here.'

Gently she looked up at him and took a careful hold of his head so he could pull her lips towards his. She kissed them with every part of her that had craved him, with every part of her that had ached for him. 'My love…' The words were a whisper but firm. 'My Nikola.'

…

Eventually through the calming motions he ran across her back he had finally sent her into the deep sleep she craved, he had promised to be there when she woke, and that was a promise he planned to keep. He wouldn't leave her, not again. He wasn't sure there were any words to describe how lost he had been, or how much he hated himself for what had happened.

'You stayed…' Her words were quiet and filled with sleep as she gently moved in his arms. She had to admit that part of her questioned whether any of this had been real. There was no question that she had wanted this so hard that she didn't trust her mind not to play tricks on her.

'I promised.' Leaning down her kissed her before wrapping his arms tight around her and holding her close into him. 'I never wanted to leave you in the first place darling.' He trailed his finger up and down her bare arm before gently squeezing the skin.

'Things have changed Nikola…' Turning around in his arms she wriggled an arm free in order to bring it up to his face. 'Something's happened my love…' She felt a tear swell in the corner of her eye as she thought about the events of the previous night. She couldn't stop the tear spill down the side of her cheek before her body shuddered with the memory of the previous nights pain.

'Helen…what is it my love?' He took her face in his hands and ran his thumbs across her cheek. 'Tell me darling…please?' At that moment his head came up as the bedroom door flew open and John stood looking at the couple lying in the bed in front of him.

'Well well. Caught in the spiders web…' John let out a dark chuckle as he walked into the room and shut the door behind him.

'What is the meaning of this John, have you not learnt to knock on the door to a ladies chamber.' He quickly sat up from where he lay at the same time as pulling the covers fully up and over Helen.

Looking down at Nikola he let out a small chuckle. 'Oh Nikola, I don't think you have any right to take that tone with me. Not since I know your sordid little secret.' He walked over to the fireplace and picked up one of the delicate ornaments stood there. Holding it in one hand he turned to face them, he took in the confused expression on Nikola's face before realising that he had no idea about what he was speaking. 'Oh Helen, you haven't told him…'

Helen looked towards him with a steady stream of tears rolling down her cheeks. 'Please John, I haven't had a chance…please let me do this…' She knew before she spoke that what she requested wouldn't happen, that John had already decided on how to proceed.

John laughed. 'My dear woman, you have had all night, surely that was enough time to discuss a matter such as the loss of a child…' He looked towards Nikola. 'Oh…wasn't I meant to mention that.' He placed the ornament back on the shelf before speaking again. 'Never mind…you are both immortal now after all, you'll have plenty of time to discuss this all later.' With that he left the room, but in a final moment before walking out of the door her turned around. 'Oh and Helen, do not forget our agreement, or I may forget what it is that people ought not to know.' After speaking the final words he turned and left the room leaving Nikola and Helen looking after him. Both feeling as though there worlds had suddenly been destroyed around them.

'Why didn't you tell me?' Nikola reached to take hold of her hand flinching himself as he watched her pull away before rolling onto her side and away from him. 'God Helen, what did he do…what does he mean?' Gently he came around to the other side of her and gently took both of her hands before turning her so she had no choice but to look at him. 'Helen…I need you to talk to me darling.'

She opened her eyes fully to look at him. 'Last night…I didn't even know Nikola…God I should have known, what's the use in being a doctor…when…' She broke off, her mind going back to the previous night. No matter how hard she tried, she already knew that it was one memory she would never be able to wipe away from her mind. 'I lost a baby Nikola…James called it a natural rejection…' She had hoped that using the scientific name James had given it would somehow make it easier, how wrong she had been.

'My God…I should have been here, are you ok…I mean of course your not…oh my Helen, my sweet Helen.' He pulled her closer and rocked her body next to his as the refreshed sobs wracked through her body. As they finally slowed he kissed the top of her head. 'I'll never leave you again, I can control this…a concoction of animal blood and vitamins…it may not taste great, but it'll be worth it…for us…' He kissed her again. It was only after waiting for a moment that he realised she was not responding to him, he could hear her breathing, but she spoke no words. 'Helen? Is there something more?'

Helen looked up at him. Oh how she wanted to take his hand and run, to tell him that everything would be ok…that they would have the wedding they planned, and the family they both dreamed of. 'He knows Nikola…the baby…John knows, and he…' She couldn't carry on, what was there to say.

'Then we deal with it my darling, surely it doesn't matter, we are engaged to be married.' Nikola squeezed her hand. 'You are the one I have chosen to spend my life with. I don't see how it matters…' He trailed off, scared about what was to come next.

'He threatened to ruin me Nikola…to out me as a tainted woman…' She turned her head away. 'He said…that he would make sure my work was ruined…unless…'

Nikola looked at her. 'Come on Helen, what is it…surely we can deal with it?' He hated this…it was as though he had done this to her.

'Unless I marry him Nikola…he will tell the world that I am a tainted woman unless I marry him…' She dropped her head into her hands crying once more at the realisation of what her words meant... 'I'm so sorry Nikola…'

'No…I won't let him do this Helen…I won't let this happen.' He bought a fist crashing down on to the bed, the anger flowing through his body equivalent to nothing else he could bring his mind to.

'I don't think we have a choice Nikola…what's done is done.' She gently shrugged with the forced acceptance. She looked towards him, there was no way of her telling him how much this was hurting her. 'We knew when this started that there was a chance…' She paused, hating how final this was sounding. 'We knew that there was a chance this wouldn't work my darling…' She turned her head, not wanting him to see the tear rolling down her cheek, this wasn't the time to let emotions run away.

'How can you even think about taking him Helen…you don't love him…' Nikola too was trying to keep his emotions in check, but by God was it hard. The only woman he had ever loved was telling him that she was marrying another man…and not any other man…John Druitt.

'There are times Nikola…when love quite simply isn't enough.'


	10. Chapter 10

**Ok. Before I start there are violent scenes some may find upsetting, however I can now promise you that happiness is on the way. Promise promise. Just think about how much more you will love it after this haha. **

**Oh and a cheeky plug. The first of the Olympic One-Shots has been posted There are six of us writing a set of 12 Olympic based Teslen one shots. Go have a look. Cheeky I know. Massive shout to agrainne24 for beta-ing. She is a star for sticking with me through this. Love you doll.**

**Chapter 10**

Helen pushed the door open to the room she liked to study in. Her eyes were red and swollen after talking to Nikola, and all she wanted was time on her own. Sitting down on the nearest chair she let the sobs she had been trying to hold on to flow freely from her as she placed her head into her hands. The sudden hand pressing down on her shoulder made her stand up and fly away from the chair she was sitting in. 'My word John…you startled me…' She lifted a hand to her chest hoping to calm herself and stop her heart from pounding.

'You're upset…' John reached out another hand towards her, though in the movement he saw Helen flinch away from his touch. Quick as a flash he bought his fist crashing down against the table next to her, causing it to shake with the force. 'We are engaged Helen…you have no right to be scared of me…' Quickly he shook his head before crouching in front of her and lifting a hand to cup one of her cheeks. 'I never meant to startle you my darling…I just worry about you. I hate seeing you so upset.'

Helen shut her eyes, she couldn't face looking at him, but it was too obvious a movement to turn his head away. 'Don't do this John…not now…' She willed the tears to stop rolling down her cheek, but all of this felt completely wrong. She wanted nothing more than to run back to Nikola, to tell him that she had been wrong. That all of this had been completely wrong.

'Do what Helen? Talk? For it seems quite clear to me that you have been avoiding me. In fact since you accepted my generous proposal I have barely seen you.' With more force than was necessary he turned her head and held it with both hands so she was forced to face him. Without warning he kissed her with what could only be described as a mixture of passion and violence. He crushed his lips against hers, trying to force a movement that should otherwise have been completely natural.

The contact was nothing like the kisses she had shared with Nikola. The force of John's kiss had both scared her and taken her breath away. She wanted to scream out for someone to save her from what this was becoming. Every moment she spent with John was burning up a hatred deep inside of her. What right did this man have to take control over her…she could feel the bile rising in her throat at the thought of spending a single night with him, let alone spending the rest of her life by his side. Feeling something bubbling inside of her she bought her hands to his chest and pushed with the strength she felt, trying desperately to push him away from the closeness to her body.

John started to laugh at the protest underneath him. He lifted a hand to take hold of her chin, making sure than he had a firm grip on her before he pulled away. 'Now now Helen…have you not yet learnt your place.' His tone became darker and darker as he bought his mouth round to her ear before hissing. 'You will do as I say woman…' He bought her mouth back up to his before forcing another kiss. Feeling her struggle he laughed before letting go of her face. He watched it gently fall before quickly pulling back his hand.

Helen didn't see his hand fall, neither did she see the hand move. The first thing she knew of the action was the resounding noise of skin slapping skin that rang around the small room. It was then she felt the pain spread across her cheek. It was a normal instant reaction to soothe a pain, but she was determined that she would not give him the satisfaction of seeing that he had caused her pain. She would never let him see the pain in her.

'Perhaps now you will learn your place.' He stood taller and straightened himself before nodding towards her. 'I expect to see you for dinner at 8 sharp.' He left the room without another sound leaving Helen sat in the chair, feeling as though every part of her was starting to crumble inside.

Helen watched him leave before falling forwards from the chair and landing on her knees. The sobs racked throughout her body as she shook with disgust and pain. She couldn't help but ask herself how everything had changed so quickly, she had gone from facing her heart's desire full in the face. After fighting it for such a long time she had dropped her guard and accepted that this was what she wanted. He was the final piece of the puzzle, and here she was letting it go.

After losing the baby she didn't believe that anything could have hurt so much, but now resting on her knees against the hard floor she was looking out a life with a man she loathed, and there didn't seem to be anything she could do about it. She could hardly complain, she had known that she was taking a huge risk with Nikola, but it had seemed so right. He was the man she expected to spend her life with, and she had wanted to be with him in every way possible. The only thing making the miscarriage bearable was the thought that one day her and Nikola would hold their baby close in their arms. Pushing back to sit up on her chair she wiped the tears away from her face. Looking down she was startled to see a mix of tears and blood smeared across her face, thinking back she remembered the ring John wore. He must have cut her face with the force of the strike.

Looking around she remembered where she was. She sighed with the realisation that there was nothing around her to either clean or sterilise the wound. Wiping her face she quickly stood up before leaving the room.

…

Walking back through the corridors Nikola was struggling not to take his frustration out of on the nearby wall. There had been few times in his life that he had wanted something quite so much, but know he knew that everything he wanted was Helen. It felt now that without her by his side there would be something missing. The thing that disgusted him even more was the thought he was going to lose her to John Druitt.

Stopping dead in his tracks he heard the familiar footsteps behind him. Turning around he wanted to vomit. Helen stood in front of him with a face that was bruised with fresh blood running from a sharp cut across her face. He had only been away from her for twenty minutes. 'My God Helen…what happened.' Running up towards her he gently cupped her cheek, without thinking he gently placed a kiss to her forehead.

Helen looked at him before starting to cry again. She relaxed into his arms and let him pull him closer and wrap his arms around her. Once again she found herself sobbing into his arms. Neither of them caring that the blood from her cheek was transferring onto his shirt.

Nikola rubbed down her back, he needed to relax himself at the same time as comforting her. Across her cheek he could see the large handprint forming. It seemed quite clear what has caused the injury to her face, and he had a pretty good idea who had done it. 'Hush darling…he can't hurt you now…' He whispered into her ear before kissing the hair covering her ear. Gently pulling her head back he carefully turned her head so he could see the cut more clearly. Running a finger along the bottom of it he winced as she did. 'I don't think you'll need stitches my love…but we do need to get it cleaned up.' He kissed her forehead again before slipping an arm around her waist and leading her to his room to use the medical kit he knew was there.

For the first time in the day Helen felt completely safe with Nikola's arm wrapped around her waist. Looking up at the face she adored she felt more confused than she had before. What was she meant to do?

**Hope it wasn't too bad lovelies. Thanks for staying with me. Tasha. X**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello. Ok before I post I will admit that I am a review whore…every single one makes me smile. Ok. This fic is T-Rated as you know, however this chapter is an extremely strong T-Rating with scenes of a violent nature some may find upsetting. So please please bare this in mind before reading.**

**Can't believe you made me post this on your birthday lovely. But Happy Birthday anyway agrainne24 you are quite simply incredible, if a little old. Thank you all for reading, and I hope that you understand why this had to happen.**

**Tasha.**

**Chapter 11**

It had taken much longer than usual, but finally Helen felt herself fall into a gentle sleep. She had never been the heaviest of sleepers, but recent events had made sleeping just that bit harder. Something sprung to mind about keeping one eye open. Nikola had stayed with her for a while after cleaning her up, but eventually she had let him leave. Not that he was eager to go, in fact she was quite sure that if it were down to him then he would have stayed to watch her the whole night.

Helen wanted to cry every time she thought about Nikola. From just one glance into the perfect blue eyes she could see how much this was hurting him. She wanted nothing more than to storm through the house to tell John exactly what she thought, before running into Nikola's arms to tell him that everything was ok…that they would be ok.

…

'Keep that up and you will have worn a path in this rather fine carpet old chap.' The all too familiar voice rang around him. Taking a deep breath Nikola fought the urge running deep through him to turn around and rip his cursed throat out.

'Believe me when I tell you I am not in the mood John.' His voice was calm and precise. He hoped it would be the warning shot John needed.

'But on the contrary old boy…we should be celebrating.' John picked up his favourite decanter and poured himself a rather generous measure of the amber liquid before taking a deep drink. 'I mean, it isn't every day one gets engaged to the woman of his dreams.' With the final word he placed the glass down on the nearest surface. Making sure to prepare his stance for the blow that was sure to come.

'I warned you…' Nikola turned and flew with his inhuman strength towards the man who was trying to take away all he cared about. His claws were out before he could think about it. He lifted a hand to try and take a clean swipe at John. Though as his claw came down it cut through thin air, he quickly feel to the ground with the unexpected shift in balance.

There was a red flash of light as John reappeared across the other side of the room from where he had previously stood. 'Oh dear Nikola, you didn't think that you were the only one with new toys to play with?' He laughed before disappearing once more into the red flash as Nikola flew towards him again.

'Not for one moment Johnny boy, but I do know that only one of us needs to blackmail a woman to gain her hand in marriage.' Nikola's voice had changed tone as the vampire inside of him had taken over. He could see the blood running down his hands from where in his anger his claws had cut into them.

'Do I sense a hint of jealousy…or maybe disappointment.' John laughed as he disappeared, only this time he appeared behind Nikola with no noise at all, that was until he spoke. 'Well dear boy. What a good job the best man won out…now if you wouldn't mind.' With something that could be described as inhuman speed his arm came around Nikola's neck and held tight as he plunged the prepared syringe into the vampires neck.

He felt the sharp scratch, but had expected more time before anything took effect, so it was quite a shock when within seconds his vision clouded, with the room seemingly spinning round him. He fell to the floor quickly after being released from John's tight grip.

'Now Nikola, you must remember this night.' John walked around the vampires body, watching as he fell deeper into unconsciousness. He wanted nothing more than to drag this out further, but the drug was strong, and he wanted him to hear every word. 'For tonight I will take Helen as only a husband has the right…' He laughed once more. 'After lying with you, one can only hope she appreciates everything I have to offer…'

Nikola barely heard the final word. He could feel the hot tears spilling down his cheek as the blackness took him in. He could not clear her picture from his mind, the picture of his beautiful Helen…with the monster stood behind her. Yet he had no voice to warn her, no scream to alert of John's plan…he could only cry as he let her down. Oh how he had let her down. Helen, his beautiful Helen…

…

She wasn't truly sleeping, her mind lay somewhere in between the world she walked every day, and the dream world she had always loved to visit. It suited her, she was relaxed to a point where she could simply lie and let her mind wander the worlds it so loved to travel. There was no need for thinking, and no pull on any part of her. Quite simply, she was free. It was because of this she would realise later that she didn't hear the door to her chamber open, or feel the cool breeze rush across her body.

Beautiful, she looked simply beautiful spread out on the luxury bed. In his opinion the piece of furniture was simply too big to be filled by one body alone. In fact it seemed almost criminal to not fulfil its full potential. Sure that she was deaf to his actions he went about removing most of his restrictive garments. Leaving only the cool cotton he had taken to wearing underneath. Then he took his first steps towards her motionless form.

Her dreams were of Nikola. They had been for a long time, not that anyone else was aware of this. She was well aware that is was completely improper to have dreams of any man. Especially in positions such as those she seemed to find most intriguing. They had always been dreams of the unexplainable, the adventures she had always craved to take him on, but not anymore. Now she simply dreamt of the situations she wished for again, for the simple home cooked meals. Or the moonlit stroll through the grounds of the college they had both loved so much. They had done the extraordinary, and while there was much more still to come, a bigger part of her wanted nothing more than to be with her vampire. To have everything a woman should have…her whole body seemed to smile as she was passed a single perfect red rose, a simple token. Yet it meant more than words alone could describe.

She became so lost in the dream that as she felt him move behind her it was as though he was truly there, she would have sworn that she could feel the heat of his body pressing through to hers. The strong arms wrapped around her could have been real. Letting out a contented sigh she leaned her head back and into the chest she loved. In that moment she realised something was wrong. The dream around her melted away at the same time as the arms around her becoming tighter, then there was the smell.

'You should have kept dreaming Helen…' His voice was different to anything she had heard before. No matter what she had thought of John, she had always been convinced that underneath everything was a proper Victorian gentleman waiting to come out. Yet in the simple words she realised that had been completely wrong…the man in her chamber was in fact no man at all. He was simply a monster…and nothing would change that now.

She went to scream but was met with one of his hands over her mouth, the other was round her front and before anything could be done he had ripped down the seam of her nightclothes, leaving her completely exposed to the night air and him.

The next minutes were simply a blur. She wasn't sure when the hand left her mouth, but it moved to grab a handful of her hair, before pulling tight. She didn't have the strength to scream, and even if she had. There was little chance anything would have made strength above the sobs of pain screaming through her body.

She had heard of things such as this happening, but with the women of the night…never in…well never in situations such as this. The harder she cried, the rougher he had become. She willed for it to be over, hoping that he would get carried away…but this it seemed had been planned, and he seemed determined to prolong her torture for as long as he could.

By the time he had finished she was sure that she was dying. The pain shooting through her body bought sob after sob from her throat. As he finally let her go she fell forward into the bed she had once called her haven. He left, but not without speaking once more. 'Perhaps you won't show yourself around so much…it can after have rather nasty consequences.' Now as she lay there it had become the place from which all of her dreams had been taken. It had become the place where her nightmares had truly begun.


	12. Chapter 12

**So…I hated myself after the last chapter…so here is the start of the happier times. I hope you all feel the sense of relief I did… Thank you all for reading, you are all incredible. Shout to agrainne24 for beta-ing…and the amazing girls who have kept me sane during a really hard week. You all know who you are. Feel very free to drop me a line letting me know what you think, every review is massively appreciated…and I did give you a glimmer of Teslen happiness ;) Tasha.**

**Chapter 12**

Nikola had seen him fly past them, he had watched him as he walked into the room and drained a large glass of scotch. He put the glass down before turning towards him. 'You're welcome to her Nikola…if you can find her.' He smirked before swinging his coat around his shoulders before leaving, but not before turning back. 'Goodbye Nikola.' John had woken up that morning knowing that he would be leaving before the end of the day, and that he wasn't likely to return in a hurry. If he was completely honest then he had never intended to marry Helen. He was just going to make it as difficult as possible for her to be with anyone else. There had just been something inside of him that needed to know that he could have anyone he wanted, even if like Helen they were with someone else.

'You bastard…' Nikola stood up and started towards him. Within a moment he had him pinned against the wall. 'I love her…this isn't a bloody game…' He snarled as he increased the pressure against John's throat.

'You did…but no one likes picking up where someone else has left off…' John couldn't help but laugh as the vampire increased his pressure. 'Come now Nikola, you really want to waste your time on me when Helen needs you more than ever…' With a final laugh he disappeared into his signature flash of red. His disappearance left Nikola to collapse against the wall with nothing to lean on as he suddenly realised the meaning of the words John had left him with. 'Helen…' The word was a strangled whisper as he found himself running towards her room.

…

She didn't want to be in the bed. In fact she wanted nothing more than to chop the damn thing into small pieces and incinerate it. Yet no matter how much she wanted to she couldn't force herself out of the fetal position. She hated him, but more so, she hated herself for letting this happen, for not being stronger when everything had happened and refused to back down. For not simply refusing to leave Nikola, they had been happy together. They had been in love, and engaged. Maybe John had been right, if she hadn't become intimate with Nikola, maybe if they had waited then this wouldn't have happened.

She heard the door open, for a moment she thought about getting up from where she lay to get away from him…to fight for the shred of dignity she had left in her body…but it was too much. No longer did she care, or so she thought. She heard the footsteps walking through the room. Following her instinct she pulled her knees up tighter into her, yet she hadn't realised how much pain was still coarsing through her body. So it was a completely involuntary sob of pain that left her mouth with even the simplest movement.

'Oh God…what's he done.' Nikola was crouched beside the bed and gently reached a hand across to stroke through the loose pieces of hair framing her face. Her skin was pale and she looked as though she was about to vomit. Her eyes were closed but he knew she was awake. He had seen her sleep before, and always made a comment on how peaceful she looked. This was so different, there was torment plastered across her face. Nikola wanted to cry just looking at her, he could only see the smallest part of her. He hated the idea that he hadn't been here to protect her. 'Let me check you Helen…' He ran a hand down her arm trying to encourage her out of the tight ball she was curled into.

'Go away…' She couldn't look at him, the thought of him finding out what had happened…of knowing what he had done to her. She couldn't deal with the idea herself, let alone telling someone else how disgusting she had become. Her body was cramping and starting to hurt all over from being curled so tightly. She was desperate to release her body, but she knew that along with the physical release would come the tears, while she was wrapped into her cocoon she still had the chance to pretend that none of this was happening.

'I don't think I can…' Carefully Nikola stood up before walking around to what would have been his side of the bed. Sitting himself down he gently rubbed circles across her back and down her shoulders. 'Come on sweetheart…'

'NO.' Helen shouted. Trying to get up she tried to scramble away from him. Away from the bed she found herself falling from the side of the bed in her hurry, but then there were strong arms around her. She was being pulled back into Nikola's firm body.

He didn't know what to do, he couldn't stop himself from thinking about everything that might have happened to her in the time he was away. He knew that it was dangerous, but he couldn't help it. Though as he sat there and looked at her he knew that trying to prise it out of her wasn't going to work. Instead he simply took hold of her and pulled her close towards him. They had spent so much time in similar positions. There was something about being so physically close to another that made them both feel safe. She struggled for a moment before he felt her body flop under the sheer pressure and emotion of everything around her and she moulded into his arms. With the release came the tears.

'Should have stopped him…' The words were quiet and separated by tears she didn't know how to tell him, but she knew that he needed to know something. 'Didn't know how.' She hated it when things didn't make sense, and she knew that she would find herself infuriating at this moment.

Nikola shook his head. 'Do not even think about going down that path Helen. None of this is your fault…he just…God. All that John Druitt ever wants to do it destroy. He takes things around him and tries to poison them.' Nikola could see the pain in her, and he felt it all the way through his body, that along with frustration. He couldn't stop himself from thinking that he could have changed this. It had after all stemmed from the change in nature of his relationship with Helen. 'I should have protected you…'

Holding her close he could see the light bouncing from the two small scars on her neck. Seeing the shining white made him feel sick, knowing that they were the physical reminder of what had happened, and what he nearly did. Of course everyone would tell him that his humanity won out, the fact that he stopped himself so early on was a show of strength. If that was truly the case, then why did he feel like such a failure? 'I'm sorry.' He stroked the hair back from her neck before resting a hand over the marks. He had been expecting her to flinch from the contact, so it came as a slight surprise that she didn't move at all.

'Now who needs to stop.' Her voice was full of sleep and the sentence quickly became a yawn that she didn't bother trying to stifle. She hated to admit it, but having his arms wrapped around her was quickly making her relax into him. Of course she was still thinking about what had happened, but there was also the realisation that it wasn't going to change in a few hours, and that the sleep would be of a lot of use.

Watching and feeling her gently fall asleep Nikola kept up the ministrations across her back. He could only imagine that they were similar to the way new Mum's were shown to comfort their children. Even as he drew the steady pattern with his hand, he could feel himself starting to fall under their spell. Though quickly he shook his head and bought himself back round to the present situation, right now he was here for Helen.

…

Nikola had finally allowed himself to relax into some sleep, but only after he had been sure that Helen was firmly asleep. He wasn't sure that he could deal with not being there for her when she needed him again. Many of the stories read that vampires needed very little sleep, well that bit at least was true. He hadn't personally tried sleeping in a coffin during the middle of the day, and he was pretty sure that as Mr OCD it wasn't likely to be him thing. Needing not as much sleep meant he could rest his eyes while letting his body float on the edge of consciousness. That way he didn't get pulled too far into a deep sleep, after a couple of hours he would be refreshed, and back for Helen whenever she needed him.

He wasn't sure how long he had slept, but it was more than enough for him. The sleep hadn't been as relaxing as he often hoped. With his mind being completely occupied with thoughts of Helen he had to make do. Opening his eyes he carefully shifted his position so he was able to check that she was indeed still asleep. Happy with the outcome he gently relaxed the grip of his arms around her. If he closed his eyes and thought hard he enough he was back to before the mess with John began. This was how they would often wake on a lazy day. Wrapped up in each others arms and simply talking about and the excitement of what the day was to bring.

**A/N I hope that this was close to what you all wanted my lovelies. Tasha. xx**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

The vomit rising in her throat burned at the same time as the tears swelled over the edge of her eyes. Moving quickly from her room and towards the bathroom she knelt down and clasped the edge of the toilet bowl. Leaning her head down to just above the bowl she let the vomit spill over and found herself being violently sick into the bowl.

She had been silly enough to think that giving into the sensation would make it pass quicker, but it seemed that giving her body the opportunity to purge itself had simply started the tide of sickness that was washing over her. Her knuckles became tight and white from holding so tightly onto the edge of the toilet.

…

Pushing open the door to her room Nikola was instantly hit by the overwhelming smell of vomit. He had knocked twice to no answer, but from checking around the house he was well aware that the only place Helen could possibly be was in her room. He made the decision to step forwards and in. Looking around it was clear that she was nowhere in the main chamber, however her bed wasn't made and had clearly been left in a hurry.

Willing the heavy beating of blood through his ears to quieten he stopped for a moment and listened. Looking towards the door to her en-suite he was sure that he could hear gentle sobs. He waited for a moment listening, he needed to be sure that he wasn't hearing things before he decided on his next move. It only took a moment for him to take his first step towards the door.

Pushing open the door he found her curled around the toilet, from the sickening smell it was quite clear how sick she had been. He wanted to throw his body on top of hers, to protect her from all the evil circling her. Dropping down to his knees he didn't cover her whole body, but simply used his hands to gently pull her long dark locks back from her face. He could feel the heat steaming through her body. Without thinking he lent his head forward and placed a gentle kiss on her shoulder before gently speaking against her ear. 'I promise to keep you safe…' He paused before continuing. 'No matter what…' He wasn't an idiot, she had been sick nearly every morning that week, this had been the worse by far, but still. The only question in his mind was when would she feel safe enough to confide in him the secret he already knew. Or even more worryingly, had she herself accepted what was going on within her body?

'I need to get up…' Her voice was coarse as she leant back on him and accepted the help he gave in order to move her from the floor. Slowly and gently they moved her up and back into her bedroom. Walking the few steps holding tight to Nikola she wasn't sure that she had ever felt so exposed. Yet with his arm tight around her waist it felt as though she was ok…somehow. Moving towards her bed she felt herself leaning forwards into it. Barely any of the movement was her own making, but she let him guide her. Within barely any time at all she was lying in her bed with the covers bought up around her.

Looking at her lying there Nikola found himself wanting to cry, had it not seen it himself then he wasn't sure he would ever believe that Helen could look so vulnerable. She was pale and clammy in the physical view, but it was the pain behind her eyes that hurt him the most. Everything the monster had done to her was clear for the world to see. Leaning down he gently moved some of the hair back from her sweat soaked face. Without thinking he lent down and placed a tender kiss on the now bare spot. 'Go to sleep now sweetheart…I'll be close if you need me.' He got up from where he was bent over her and started from the room.

'Wait.' Her voice was quiet yet firm. She didn't really know what was going on, but there was one thing completely clear in her mind. 'Stay here…I mean…stay in my room?' The voice that left her mouth was completely unlike the strong independent woman she wanted to be seen as, instead she sounded like an upset child, she didn't have a clue what was going to happen next, and that scared her more than she would ever care to admit. Yet it made her more determined to take control of the parts of her life within her grasp. One of those being Nikola…

'Of course.' He wanted nothing more than to stay with her, in fact he wanted to wrap her up in cotton wool and hold her tight to him. He wanted to tell her that no one else would hurt her again. Not on his watch, but how could he…when he had already let someone hurt her so much. He couldn't shake the sight of John walking into the room straight after…even at the thought of what had happened he found his whole body tensing up…he could feel the blood pumping harder and harder…feel the talons starting to burst through along side the anger he felt inside. How dare he even think about her…let alone…

'I'm sorry Niko…' She may have been out of sorts, but the anger in his face was quite un-missable. It broke her heart to think that she was doing that to him, that the pain and confusion he felt was all down to her. Of course he would always say that she was being silly, and that he wanted to be there. He would tell her later that all of the pain had been worth it, but that was beside the point.

'Don't…' He took a deep breath to remove the anger in his voice, of course it wasn't aimed at her. It was the very thought that she wanted to blame any of this on herself. He had always questioned whether he would still hold any of the same morals as a vampire…whether things that would have seemed obvious would remain the same. 'None of this is your fault Helen…' He sat down on the edge of the bed and rested a hand on top of hers, carefully he started running his fingers across the smooth skin, it was the simplest of touches, yet seemed to represent so much between them. 'You do understand that?' He felt that he was talking to her as he would a child, but from all of his experience he knew that this was beyond anything a human mind should have to deal with. Of course he had never been there himself, but he had seen enough people deal with trauma through his life.

Helen looked at him. 'I don't understand why you're here Nikola…' She had treated him so badly, they had everything stretched out in front of them and when it had all fallen apart she had blamed him. She had treated him terribly, yet when she was in trouble he was the first person by her side, and the tenderness he treated her with made her want to cry.

'Quite simple really…I'm not looking at what's happened darling. If we're looking at mistakes then I have no right to look you in the face. I promised to look after you…and to love you. Then I let…' He broke off not wanting to think about what had happened…the thought of John being all over her, the thought of everything he had done to her still created an anger within him that he had never felt before. 'Now. You need some sleep…and yes I'll be right here.' He stroked a hand through her hair in something of an effort to calm her and send her off into the much needed sleep.

Helen shifted down into the bed, but as she did there was still something wrong. In all of the time since John had attacked her she had managed little more than two hours sleep, and now she realised why, it seemed so obvious now she stopped and thought about it. 'I can't sleep in here Niko…' She hadn't thought about it, but it was everything she needed. 'Can I use your room? I mean I can find somewhere else I just….'

Not waiting for her to keep talking Nikola stood from where he was sitting on the edge of her bed and gently picked her up from the bed. He knew that she was exhausted from the lack of argument against his movement. She simply allowed her body to relax into his as he carried her to the room he was using.

'I wont let you go.' He gently spoke the words before carrying her through to his room.

…

It had only taken moments for Helen to fall into a deep sleep after being settled into his room. He had placed her on the bed before she asked him onto the bed next to her, she wanted his hands around her before she could finally relax. So there he was, both arms wrapped around her and hands placed protectively over stomach, it was like this he found himself too succumbing to the sleep.


End file.
